Speaking Dog
I used to say, “Nothing surprises me.” Well, that just flew out the window. Living in Hollywood, I have a client who is a pretty big movie producer – a big wig kind of a guy. When he calls up, he talks to us in the voice of his dog. His voice is high pitched, like a lady whose Spanx are too tight.

“Hi, it’s Pamela. I’m here for you. I love you.”

“Okay, but is that you, Mark?”

“No, it’s Pamela, and I can’t wait to see you.”

I’m trying not to die on the other end of the line. “Ah, okay, Pamela. I’ll be right out to fetch you.” You would think his movie scene would have stopped when our eyes met. Nope. He still talks to me face-to-face in the voice of Pamela! Do you think this is normal?

Cracking Up
Ralph, a finicky Poodle, has developed a new “Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets” personality. His owner told me, “Take Ralph on a walk. You’ll see.”

When I took Ralph on his walk, he refused to walk on cracks. You’ve got to be kidding me! Every time I walk Ralph and he sees a crack in the sidewalk, he stops walking and sits. He tries to maneuver around the cracks, either by jumping over all the cracks or going out of his way on lawns, driveways, or around bushes to avoid stepping on cracks. You might not think this is true, but it is.

I called the owner and asked what the deal was with Ralph and the cracks. He responded, “It’s just what he does now.”

I thought to myself, “No way. This can’t be happening.” Ralph has become Jack Nicholson to the max. How the heck am I attracting all these crazy clients? Oh, yeah. I live in Hollywood. That’s the ticket.

Paw Readings and Crystal Balls
My clients have psychics and holistic nutritionist vets that specialize in behavior and specific nutritional needs for their dogs. It’s the norm. The psychics are my favorite calls. Who’s getting the reading here: me or the dog? “Rufus is feeling that he needs more ‘me’ time.” Right, how could I have missed that?

Send us your stories!

Have an embarrassing “oops” moment at your facility or a crazy client – on two or four legs? Tell us about it! Email your true tale (no more than 200 words, please!) to [email protected], and you just might see yourself in the next issue of Pet Boarding & Daycare!

Thank you to Alanna Chasin of Chasin’ Pets Pet Service in Southern California for providing the stories in this issue’s edition of Tails & Tales!

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